From the desk of Tammy Hayes, Middle School Principal:

Everybody needs a “do over” now and again.  One of the most difficult feelings in life is to feel that you have messed something up so early in the game that you can never recover.  I remember being a newlywed and playing Scrabble.  On the very first move, my young husband played all seven of his tiles, scoring whatever was the face value doubled and earning the 50-point bonus awarded with such skill! It was the first play of the game, and he was up by at least seventy-five points! I wanted to stop the game and start over. It felt pointless to play (for what is usually at least two hours) a game that, for all practical purposes, I had already lost.

Students tend to be like me in the above scenario, partially because of youth and partially because of their impatience to do the hard work of overcoming defeat. Defeat happens in every facet of our lives. Some of the important lessons of learning is what is taught in the process of gaining all this new knowledge, not so much in the content. In other words, students who start out tired, wounded, or just not focused enough to attack their assignments as they thought they would, (or as you hoped they would) need to learn to persevere, regroup, and do the hard work of overcoming which is the art of positioning themselves to succeed against all odds. It is for this reason that it is very important to remind students that they have “plenty of time” to recover if somehow right out of the gate of a brand new school year, they have not performed up to their ability, their goals, or even up to par.

There are many benefits to be had in learning how to “overcome” a very bad beginning. In an effort to help you guide your child through such a situation, I want to offer a few tips here to give your child the encouragement he/she may be needing to “push the restart button” on school success.

Remove All Distractions

Students are exactly like us.  They are distracted by the social opportunities that surround them. I am usually given to saying “yes” unless “no” is required. (Madagascar 2) Well, “NO” is required in order to refocus your teen on his/her studies and the importance of doing well. For a period of time, you will have to remove the cell phone, the television, the gaming devices, the evening activities, and the overnight hang-outs until you see the improvement happen in the grades.

Speak redemptive words painting a “doable” future.

Students need to hear, “This is fixable.” Students need to know that you aren’t panicking, so neither should they. Say specific reassuring comments that let them know there is plenty of time to make an adjustment, refocus their efforts, and stay in the game.

Help them make a new plan and decide what changes need to be made.

Students may know in their head that they “can” make the grade. But, often, they truly do not know “how” they should go about making it.  Help them brainstorm what isn’t working and put a few changes in place for what will work. This most likely will be the basics, like putting devices out of sight while they study, setting a specific time and place to get homework done, and getting the rest they need to avoid being tired.

Finally, set new goals and check in with them weekly to provide accountability and keep you informed of progress.

It will be important to let your child set the new goals for academic success. Help this process by suggesting they write them down and post them in a place where they can see them daily, or text them to you in message. At some point weekly, ask them to tell you how it is going or show you what progress they’ve made. This will keep the weight of doing on the child and you from micromanaging their every move while still bringing it to their attention for review.

One other note here is that sometimes students are able to launch their academic year with ease, but run into difficulty right off with either a teacher or a peer. Encouragement is still needed for them to course correct, only focusing on the relationships involved is more the task. That usually just takes a pep talk for them to own it, be willing to have a talk to straighten it out, admit fault, ask forgiveness, or make an attitude adjustment as to their responses or actions in a particular relationship or classroom.

Once students are able to problem solve for themselves in this way, confidence becomes a natural by-product of dealing well with tough beginnings.  The main thing to remember in all difficulties is that they are to be expected; they are part of the learning needed to make your child prepared for life, and your role can be the encouragement needed to help them calmly push the reset button and stay on track to having a successful school year.