From the desk of Shawn Rhoads, Director of Residential Life:

Each year as teachers, parents and boarding staff we work hard to prepare our students and children for college and all that the collegiate journey entails.  We train their minds, their bodies and their character.  We guide and direct them along the way, all for the grand moment when we say our farewells, wipe our eyes and watch them walk off to their gate at the airport or we pull away from their dorm having dropped them off, straining hard to catch the last glimpse of them through the back glass waving good-bye before they are completely out of sight.  Basically we work ourselves out of a job.  Ironic in a lot of ways.  One thing we teach our boarding seniors to do before their final departure is to build a RAFT.  This is a tool that will help them leave well and also enter their new destination well.

R stands for reconcile. “ If there are any differences, grudges or tensions that exist between you and someone else, make that right before you leave. It could be a house mate, roommate, teacher, coach or sibling.  But you don’t want to leave with that on your conscience. So go and make it right.  Apologize if you need to.  Ask for forgiveness if you need to.  Give them a hug (if you are a hugger) and then enjoy the freedom and joy that comes from forgiveness.  Remember this.  To not forgive someone is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.  From a human perspective forgiveness sets you free more than it sets the forgiven free.”

A stands for affirm.  “Go to those folks who have helped you the most and really poured into you and tell them how much you appreciate them.  This could be at Brook Hill, at church, at home or any place where you received guidance and help to become a capable graduate.  If you can’t get to them write them a card or letter.   If you don’t have their address there’s always facebook.”

F stands for farewell.  “Most of us will think about people when we hear or read the word farewell.  And that makes sense.  You will certainly want to tell those you care about how much you will miss them as you say your good-byes.  But this can and should also include really anything or place that means a lot to you.  Maybe the pavilion by the pond was your favorite place on campus.  If you played baseball going to the dugout one last time might be fitting.  Pets can really mean a lot to us humans as well, and you’ll want to say good-bye to them, for sure.  Your room, the nearby park, your favorite coffee shop, whatever.  There is no set list of what you should or should not say farewell to.  Just project yourself forward and think of what you will miss once you are at college and go say good-bye to that thing, person or place now.  You’ll be glad you did.”

T stands for think destination.  “You have already been planning and preparing for your future home and school.  I know you’ve already looked at scholarships, dorms, clubs and schedules.  But have you also considered how you are going to stay spiritually strong?  What churches are there in the town where you will be living?  Are there any Christian organizations that you can get plugged into?  Have you asked about Bible studies on your floor of your dorm, or maybe considered leading the study yourself?  Are there other believers from Brook Hill who are also going to your university that you can stay in touch with and stay accountable to?  What systems are you going to put in place to insure that you aren’t out too late on Saturday nights so that you don’t oversleep on Sunday mornings?  And don’t forget to set aside time each day in your busy schedule to get into the Word so that the Word gets into you.  Look at the things that you have in place now that keep you spiritually intact.  How can you create those same things once you are at college?”

This RAFT doesn’t just work for boarding students or just for seniors.  Obviously it will work for anyone who finds themselves on the brink of a departure.  So if you are the one leaving, take some time to build your RAFT.  Or if you are the one staying, help your senior build theirs.  The better they leave, the better they enter.  And beyond that, the better they re-enter when they come back home, which we trust our graduates will do.